


Distress Signals

by dvisyhead



Category: Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, M/M, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Supportive Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2263839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvisyhead/pseuds/dvisyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan always seems to over think at night. You know, when the lights are out and electronics are out of reach so you're stuck laying in bed surrounded by your own heart beat and thoughts. And for Dan, this was pretty reoccurring. He seems to discover little things about himself during these moments of honest thinking before lulling off to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distress Signals

**Author's Note:**

> By the way I wrote this with the mindset of it being a teenage au where Dan and Phil aren't youtubers, but you can think of it however you want.

Dan always seems to over think at night. You know, when the lights are out and electronics are out of reach so you're stuck laying in bed surrounded by your own heart beat and thoughts. And for Dan, this was pretty reoccurring. He seems to discover little things about himself during these moments of honest thinking before lulling off to sleep. Sometimes these revelations are small, like that time where Dan realized he really enjoyed purple in his hair and thought about actually going through the process of bleaching and dying his fringe. But last night, they were on a much bigger scale in his mind.

Phil and Dan have been together for about half a year now, and everything seemed to be going quiet well. They were pretty content with how things were going. Most of the time they just spent their days ordering in take out and watching movies while cuddling on the couch, fingers entwined as they slouch against each other. It was normal, calm, but Dan has began to notice some changes in his thoughts as he spent more time with Phil.

Phil had started to try to initiate things, like he would remove his lips from Dan's and move them down to his neck and begin to leave small hickeys or bite marks. Or he would slowly move his hand up Dan's thigh, headed towards Dan's crotch and honestly he couldn't handle it. Every time things got a little too heated, Dan would pull away. Fake sickness, fake tiredness, and sometimes flat out said he just wasn't in the mood. But he wasn't sure why. He cared a lot about Phil, and it's not like he didn't find his boyfriend attractive. He just couldn't understand why he never seemed to really want to do anything beyond just cuddles and simple kisses.

But yesterday night, in the early hours of the morning after spending a lot of his day on tumblr and doing some searching, Dan figured it out. He was asexual. A panromantic asexual, to be more exact. And it just didn't sit right in his stomach. He felt so, weird. He wanted to be able to please his boyfriend, to want him like Phil wanted him. But he just couldn't seem to wrap his head around the thought of actually having sex with Phil, or anyone for that matter. And it unbelievably sucked in his mind. But, he figured he had to tell his boyfriend. He deserved and explanation for Dan always chickening out from their make out sessions when Phil tried to get more. Phil didn't complain, but Dan could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes. He wondered if he made Phil feel unwanted, or unloved. And he didn't want that, Phil deserved all of the love in the world and he just didn't want to lead him on. If Phil decided it would be too much to deal with Dan's sexuality, he would let him leave. He couldn't keep bringing Phil down.

The following morning, Dan had been sitting at the kitchen table all alone, slowly drinking coffee from his totally ironic hello kitty mug. The clock showed it was about 10:30, and Dan had been awake almost the whole night due to not being able to shut his mind up and let him sleep. He probably looked like crap, hair all messed up and sticking everywhere, dark circles under his eyes, hands slightly shaking as they brought the coffee cup up to his mouth with each sip.

In just a few minutes, Dan heard the patter of feet hitting the ground as he looked up to see Phil walk into the kitchen, hair messed up and glasses on as he appeared to have just gotten out of bed. When he locked eyes with Dan, a smile didn't creep onto his face, it was more like a look of worry.

"Dan? Why are you awake so early you look...rough." Phil tried to say lightly as he stepped towards the kitchen table.

"I couldn't sleep last night, it's fine. Just, please sit." Dan said and tried to give a small reassuring smile, but it didn't seem to calm Phil's nerves as he cocked an eyebrow at his boyfriend before sitting down across from him.

"Okay, look I know I haven't exactly been the most attentive boyfriend lately. I keep...shutting you out and turning you down from doing...you know, stuff, and I wanted to apologize. But, I did a lot of over thinking and analyzing like I always do and I think I found something out about myself. You know how I've always...sort of been floating around instead of actually forcing myself into some kind of sexuality box because nothing ever seems right?"

"Oh my god, are you breaking up with me?" Phil quickly interrupted, shock written across his face and Dan quickly tried to calm him down.

"Jesus Christ Phil, no! Just, please listen, alright?" Dan reached over and took a hold of Phil's hand, gripping it in his own. Phil sighed and nodded, calming down a little but the atmosphere still seemed intense.

"Like I was saying, I was looking around a bit on the internet last night about that kind of stuff, and Phil... I think I might be asexual." Dan glanced up at Phil and saw surprise written on his face, so he quickly added, "Like I'm panromantic, like I'm romantically interested in all genders, you knew that. But, I'm just not really interested in the sexual part of it..."

Phil was quiet for a moment, and Dan expected some outburst of anger or hurt. But in response, he felt a pair of soft lips press against his check. In shock, he quickly looked up to be greeted by Phil leaning over the table and his warm, blue eyes staring into his as a small smile spread across his boyfriend's face.

"You were so anxious about telling me that? Dan, I don't mind. You could have just said you were uncomfortable, I would have completely backed off and understood. You didn't have to lie to me to get out of it. I'm not mad, I love you Dan and something like this isn't going to make me leave you."

Dan let a wide smile spread across his lips as he quickly stood up and closed the space between him and Phil with a hug. Dan wasn't religious, but he couldn't thank God enough for blessing him with such an understanding and wonderful boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> I recently came to the conclusion of being a panromantic asexual, and I kind of wanted to write a short little phan relating to my own thoughts and how I came to the idea of my sexuality being such, going through like a 3 month long crisis but then finally accepting it. And I haven't written fluff in so long I thought it would be nice to have some support phan. c:
> 
> If there are any mistakes feel free to tell me and I will fix them asap. And sorry if this sucks, I kind of wrote it in my biomedical class in the middle of taking notes.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!! ily all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Distress Signals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3306206) by [TheMeekOne (sakerattminnas)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakerattminnas/pseuds/TheMeekOne)




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